im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Randomize
