Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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