About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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