for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
