Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
