Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
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