Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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