So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize