I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
