Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
