My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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