He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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