The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize