No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Randomize
