U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
