you would pick up someone in the library
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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