ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
