We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
