On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Randomize
