she looked like the bat from fern gully.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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