Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Randomize
