I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
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