i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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