How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
