He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
is it fun? or sober?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
