so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
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