Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
