Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
