okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
