I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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