you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
you traded sex for a burrito?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
