I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
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