im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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