He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I have post one night stand depression
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
