STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
