Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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