she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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