I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
This can only be settled by a dance off.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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