dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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