If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
