omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
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