she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
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