i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
