she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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