Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
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