quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
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