I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
