she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
