i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
