He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
