TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
