i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
