You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
