I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize