You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
