You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
