I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Still dying that you shit outside
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Randomize
