i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
