Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
