You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
