She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
