If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize