The maid of honor just puked.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
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