I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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