I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
