Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
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